You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize