Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Your penis caused this!
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
