hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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