She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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