well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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