I cannot find my penis.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize