Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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