My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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