My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
