butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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