He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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