im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize