My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
