I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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