I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
