so that wasnt chicken after all
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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