I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize