Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
