pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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