I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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