when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize