I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
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