i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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