don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
