So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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