Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
