I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
