...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
time to smoke my breakfast
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
