I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
