Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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