I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
