No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
