If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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