We need to rekindle our bromance
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
