Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
