so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Randomize