My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
