New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
