He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Watching her eat just hurts me
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
