Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
