No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
