the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
