was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize