The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize