stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
