lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
