does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
