I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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