you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
