Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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