And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
