I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
