Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
