Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
pray to the hookup gods
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
