Me. At least after what I've been through.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
